Mama Bear Syndrome

Normally the last thing I would want to compare myself to is a bear. Bears are not particularly sexy or sassy. They lack fashion sense and have never agonized over whether the black shoes look ok with the dark blue dress pants. But mark today in the girly girl history books folks, because today, November 17th, 2008, Princess Girly Girl is comparing herself to a Mama Bear. An angry Mama Bear. And just in case you don’t know, an angry Mama Bear ain’t a pretty sight. Fangs bared, in fighting stance ready to kill for her cubs, nope, not a pretty sight at all. But that’s how I feel today.

My daughter and her boyfriend rented a small, one bedroom apartment in July…well, they were supposed to be moving in back in May, but the landlord kept pushing it back and new things kept coming to light, the bedroom was actually a loft with access by ladder…ok, they were young, they could do that. There would be no stove/oven…ok, they were young, they could get by with the cook top and a convection/microwave. Umm, oops, no kitchen sink either…Ok, they were young, and the bathroom sink was really a kitchen sink, just..umm, in the bathroom. I had red flags flying everywhere. But my daughter is 22 and I have to remember what it was like to be young…and in love. Their excitement at being able to move in together, along with his dog, and have their own little love nest was worth it all. *sigh*

Even they started to cringe a bit after they had moved in and the ‘free’ internet access and cable hadn’t been installed a month later. My daughter’s job relies on internet access for communication purposes and having to go to a wireless hot spot soon became old. Then the heat that they thought was ‘included’ in the rent wasn’t. Something about the wording in the lease. But of course, the heat was even installed until October. The landlord made complaints. Cigarette butts the yard (neither my daughter or her boyfriend smoke), the fan left on in the window (second floor apartments stay pretty warm in August), and assorted other nitpicking was done. As Maine got colder in October, it became clear to my daughter and her SO that the small, propane fireplace that was installed as a heat source wasn’t going to cut it. Maine gets below zero in the winter, it was October, dipping into the 30′s and they were freezing. And it was entirely obvious to everyone that the landlord did not like my daughter. I kept reminding myself that my daughter was now an adult. I couldn’t go fighting battles for her anymore. I could however give her the link to Maine Renter’s Rights.

Right after my move to Virginia, my daughter and her boyfriend decided that the apartment was not habitable and with legal council decided to start looking for a new apartment. They made the landlord aware that the apartment was not livable for Maine winters, in response, the landlord told them that when the lease expired in January, they were not renewing. Ok, fine. But that still left them in a predicament of needing to find a new apartment now. After getting advice regarding renter’s rights, they made the landlord aware that they intended to be out of the apartment by Dec. 15th, and did not pay rent on Nov. 15th as was their legal right.

I would have thought that the landlord would breath a sigh of relief, knowing that A.) they had tenants in an apartment that didn’t meet standards for Maine apartments and B.) they were breaking the law by renting the apartment at all, due to the coding office in their town giving them the building permit on the condition that it would NOT be a rented unit. But obviously this couple is challenged. Because what did they do? (Besides slashing my daughter’s boyfriends tire.) They told them yesterday that they had to be out of the apartment by next Saturday, and that heat, lights, etc would be turned off then. Ummm, excuse me? And when my daughter got home last night the internet (which at best had been intermittent) and the cable (that required them to sit by the window to change channels) had been disconnected.

I’m so angry I want to call them and give them a piece of my mind. I want to use all the legal jargon I’ve picked up in 5 years of working for attorneys and scare the crap out of them. I want to remind them that we have proof that they weren’t even supposed to be renting the unit. Yup, ugly snarling Mama Bear.

But I’ll be good. I’ll push down the Mama Bear Syndrome, straighten the tiara and reapply the lipstick. I imagine doing what I want would really just make matters worse. My daughter will do what she has to to survive this, and I know she will. She has amazing survival skills…