Foolish Games

Those of you that have been following my internal debate about dating will be glad to know that I finally got brave and gave my number out to someone I met through an online dating site.  Unfortunately the experience has left me asking myself why I bothered.

Last weekend, I responded to one of the messages I received on Plenty of Fish.  The sender seemed to be a bit more sincere than the rest.  After some playful response banter, he offered up his number, and although a bit hesitant, I bit the bullet and did the same.

Then the texting began and he seemed pretty genuine. So genuine in fact that by the end of the weekend we had set up a ‘meet and greet’ for Wednesday.  I’ll admit, I was kind of excited to be dipping my toes into the dating pool again.  Even though I’d mentioned that I wasn’t available Monday and Tuesday nights,  Mystery Date Man (MDM) texted on a regular basis on Monday.  I thought I was sensing impatience that we had to wait til mid week, but then on Tuesday I heard nothing.   So when Wednesday rolled around, I wasn’t really surprised when he texted saying he couldn’t meet hit the cell.  I was ok with that, either he was telling the truth and we’d reschedule or he just wasn’t really interested, which was cool too.

When the texts began again Thursday, I anticipated a request to reschedule our meeting, but it didn’t come. Then again today the texts began, but no mention of another time to meet.  And then, just now, after 10pm at night, I get a text asking how my night was going.  As the text conversation ensued, being the shoot from the hip kind of girl I am, I asked if we were going to reschedule the meet and greet of if we were just going to text back and forth.  His response?

Wait for it…..

His response was that he was ok with ‘it’. (texting) and that he was going to invite me over to his place since I had said I was a bit bored.  Hello??  Buddy?  do the women you hang out with generally rush on over to the home of a guy they’ve never met at night…in the dark?  Duh!!  Did this guy think that being a chubby chick I was so desperate for a man’s attention that I’d jump at the chance?  And although the dangers of doing so were of course a concern, I really don’t even think a serial killer would be stupid enough to approach a woman that way and think she’d actually do it.

This guys behavior, coupled with all of the responses on the dating site that I haven’t responded to because they were all about ‘hooking up’ and ‘having a little fun’, have me once again frustrated with the whole idea of trying to date. After my little ‘text-versation” with MDM I was mad enough to spit nails (as my grandfather used to say).  Is it like this for all single women or is it because I’m a chubby chick?

Listen up guys, get this straight. Yes, I’m very up front about being ‘rubenesque’ , but not because I’m making some sort of ‘excuse’.  I know that a BBW isn’t for everyone, so if you know it’s not for you, you don’t have to waste my time and yours.  My self esteem isn’t lying in the dirt and I’m certainly not desperate.  Sure, I’d like to have a man in my life, but it’s not a requirement.  And don’t date me thinking you’re doing me a favor, because let me tell you, I’ve got a lot to bring to a relationship with the right guy.  I’m intelligent, motivated and have a pretty good sense of humor.  Not to mention things of a more…ahem…personal nature.

So here I sit, wondering if this is what I’m going to have to deal with over and over before I find something seriously worthwhile.  And my question to myself is, do I really have time to play these foolish games?