Maine schools, or at least those of which I have experience, seem to think of themselves quite highly.  When tranferring my children from Virginia we often heard, “Our school tends to be ahead of southern schools in curriculum.”  There is an attitude of superiority that is quite unearned. I’m not a betting woman, but I’d put my money on Hanover County schools to beat just about any southern Maine school.  (By the way, both of my children were forced to sit through classes and material they had already covered in Virginia. We also had to battle in order to have high school level classes  my daughter completed in middle school credited as such at Sanford High.)

With the air of superiority also comes an inability to connect with students and parents. This is illustrated by the actions of the Bonny Eagle administration at graduation.  When did graduation stop being about the graduates and start being about the ceremony?  I say, if having the graduation at the Civic Center precludes being able to toss a beach ball, hoot, hollar and blow kisses to parents, then you better start having graduation on the football field again. Let the students revel in this rite of passage, let the parents rejoice a little before the reality of college tuition bills come in the mail and let friends, some of whom may not see these graduates again, shout out names and nicknames. It’s supposed to be a celebration.

And as for the administrators who were so rude and unaccepting of a simple act of love and gratitude from a graduate to his family…what are you doing in a career that involves young people?  Have you forgotten the joy of receiving your diploma?  The thrill when your friends screamed your name as you crossed the platform?  That smart-assed fist pump you gave when you received that coveted piece of paper? If so, then you’re in the wrong job. You have to not only remember what it was like, but you have to love that teenaged exuberance and understand that it’s hard to contain. And hell, shouldn’t need to be contained at a moment in time like high school graduation.

To the parents of Bonny Eagle students or any other school governed by people whose panties are in a twist:  At this moment I know you’re all fired up. I know because some of those parents are people who graduated with me. But all too often parents bitch and do nothing. If you want change you have to fight for it. Make the time to get involved in your child’s education. If you truly feel the administration is out of touch with the student body, take a stand and actively become involved in finding administrators who know how to lead AND connect with young people. Change isn’t going to happen just because you’re angry and this is getting media attention. Eventually the spotlight will dim, probably sooner than you imagine. Will you still be wiling to put the time and effort into making changes for your kids?  Are you willing to put in volunteer time to help out and become a familiar face in the halls of your child’s school?  Can you learn to see both sides of the story, that of the teachers and administration and your child’s? Because that’s part of the equation too.
I agree that what happened was unjust and that those involved lacked compassion, but how did they get where they are?  Had you thought about them at all before this happened?
If you want the best possible education and educators for your children you must be willing to become involved. It’s easy for you to complain now, in light of this event, but where were you when these people were hired. Or when the ‘rules’ for the ceremony were being written?
And what are you going to do now?

Listen up marketers!  Have you ever thought of focusing on single mothers?  There are plenty of us out there.  Trust me on this one. (and to my own, truly incredible mother?  I may not be giving you a diamond necklace, but don’t ever doubt my appreciation of what you’ve done for me! )

But there are times, like this morning, when I catch my vanity being downright catty. Someone found me on Facebook who obviously hadn’t seen me in a long, long time. They actually sent a message asking if the photo I had posted on my profile was me, stating that I looked ‘so different’.  Now I am very aware of the propensity to gossip this particular someone has, and how much they relish telling others how ‘old’ or ‘fat’ someone has gotten.  So my first thought upon reading that message? “Mmmhmm, a little shocked that I look much younger than I am?  That my daughter and I are mistaken for sister most of the time? Disappointed that I don’t look like a frump?”  I actually had to rewrite my return message three times to keep the “take that” feeling out of my words.  I ended up politely stating that yes, the picture was me and was taken very recently.

After I sent it, I was a little ashamed of myself for the smug feeling I had just knowing this person was going to hate that answer. And then I wondered what kind of a person that made me?  Have I become one of ‘those’ girls?  The girls who in high school obviously enjoyed the way they looked.  And as much as I hated that in high school, was it really wrong for those girls to like themselves.  Was the reason many of us felt that way about them because we weren’t happy with ourselves?  And this ‘someone’ who asked about my profile picture, what was their motive?  Who did they think I had a picture of on my profile?