Après divorce I somehow always managed to be single when Cupid’s holiday rolled around.  Being single and pummeled with sappy commercials of insipid couples exchanging diamonds can ruin a single girl’s appetite for chocolate.  At the very least it leaves her feeling somewhat bereft of the excitement and romance that the entire rest of the universe appears to be wallowing in.  And somehow that empty side of the bed seems to be there just to remind you that they have what you don’t.  And no matter what you may say to other people about ‘liking the single life’, the truth is, we all want someone special in our lives along with a little romance.

Fast forward to the present.  It’s February, the commercials have started and lo and behold! I’m in a brand spanking new relationship.  I have now been dating the City Boy for three months.  And I find myself in a new kind of predicament.  Do I or don’t I?

Does one buy a Valentine’s gift for a man they’ve been dating just three months?  And if so, just what does one get him?  Let’s face it, at three months, chances are you’re not even sure you’re exclusive yet, so the whole L-O-V-E thing is enough to effectively kill a still emerging relationship.  That leaves a lot of the more traditional Valentine’s gifts off the menu.

With traditional off the table, the temptation is to veer off into something sexual.  The danger there is giving the impression that you view this new relationship as a strictly physical thing.  So how, as the new romantic interest in his life, do you choose something that says “I like what we have and I’m open to it becoming more” without going overboard in either direction??

As I go down through the gift possibilities it appears that they all are somehow inappropriate:

Coffee mug with his favorite sports team? Too impersonal, it’s more like something you’d give a cousin or a co-worker for a birthday. It definitely doesn’t say “Hey, I think you’re hot and I’m excited about seeing where this new relationship may go.”

Chocolate covered strawberries and champagne?  Too cliché?

A flirty card and an iTunes gift certificate?  Screams I couldn’t think of anything to get you doesn’t it?

A French Press coffee maker? Even though he’s mentioned wanting one, is it too practical?  Not to mention the fact that last I checked he was cutting back on the caffeine.

Chocolate body paint?  Well, we all know what that screams now don’t we?  Lots of lust but not much romance.

So here I am, finally in a relationship at Valentine’s Day finding out that there’s a whole new side to Valentine’s stress.  Of course it could just be that as a woman I’m putting way too much importance on the day. Then again, getting this right could insure that the romance lasts well beyond February 14^th .

I’m settling in nicely here in Conover, NC, absolutely loving my new place and the gorgeous springtime, feels like summer time, weather.  And to further prove this was the right choice for my new home, the flowers are in bloom and they are all..pink!  If that doesn’t scream girly girl, I don’t know what does.

So since I’d finally started to settle in, I decided that maybe it was time to seriously start exploring the idea of dating again.  I put up a new, updated profile, and wham!  Suddenly I’m getting e-mails from men left and right.  I realize it’s mostly because I was new to the site, but it was overwhelming.  At first it was a little bit exciting, but before a week was through I remembered why this hasn’t worked for me very well.  As soon as I feel the push for giving out my number and meeting up in person, I get…well…cold feet.  I get a panicked feeling that I’m not ready to dance the dating dance, that it will open me up to things I’m not sure that I want to deal with, like rejection, expectations, disappointment… you get the idea, right?

So what’s a girl to do?  I long for the companionship, fun and yes…physical benefits of a relationship, but apparently the ‘work’ involved scares the bejeebers out of me.  Any suggestions??